Blog Post

Blue Monday

January 21, 2019

Its already 3 weeks into January 2019. This means the majority of resolution makers should already be seeing some weight loss, have quit smoking, are saving money, have quit cursing, or whatever chosen change-for-the-better has been going well. The world should feel a little lighter, sun brighter, and people are very happy, right? We’ve had almost 4 weeks since Christmas, which feels like a lifetime ago, yet they have flown by and many well-intended resolutions to change have either not started or have already been broken. Did you make any resolutions, and if so, how’s it going? If you have had trouble keeping your resolutions to get healthy or focus on wellness you are not alone.

Breaking resolutions is as common as the custom of making them. In fact, Blue Monday, the third Monday in January, is said the be the saddest day of the year with broken resolutions being one of the handful of criteria that determined this date. We start hopeful, imagining ourselves feeling good and living a healthier lifestyle. We truly want that for ourselves, and we sometimes equate that desire with motivation. However, when it comes to executing the steps necessary to become healthier, to focus on wellness, our motivation is lacking. We then feel guilty, or like we’ve failed, or like we can’t achieve our goals. The feelings associated with breaking our resolutions further distance us from the wellness -focused lifestyle we desire and make getting motivated harder than before. Does this sound familiar? It is very common, and the good news is you can become motivated, achieve your goals, and resolutions can be started fresh at any time.

In order to be successful at making big changes we must have a mindset which is ready for the change. This isn’t easy! There is an entire field of study on health psychology which examines how biological, social and psychological factors influence the choices we make about our health. It looks into the motivation needed to make these changes and the experts in this field are aware of the intersection between our behavior and our health. This isn’t like your trainer at the gym or your accountability buddy on your walking app.

The total wellness package offered by The Woodlands Behavioral Health and Wellness will help you identify your own lifestyle goals and then begin to work with you on your own stage of readiness, taking advantage of the motivational stages of change, with the end goal of sustaining your new healthy lifestyle. Dr. Marcia Baker, with an extensive background in health psychology, utilizes the strategic motivational techniques to successfully identify your own personal plan for wellness. A plan specific to you and one you’ll complete. Are you really ready to make the change? If so, there is a way to do it and there is help to ensure your success. Blue Monday, or any Monday, can be the day to start fresh with support and knowledge.

Marcia Baker, Ph.D.

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One of the most difficult aspects of parenting toddlers is knowing how to manage the behaviors they exhibit as they learn to communicate their feelings. For many parents, biting and hitting are at the top of that list. Read on for tips on what to do when your child bites or hits... Self-talk . Say to yourself, “I don’t like that they bit/hit and hurt someone else, but I can teach them other ways to express their feelings.” Empathy. Ask yourself, “Wouldn’t I have a hard time expressing myself when I’m mad or upset if I didn’t have the language to do that, or the ability to problem solve in non-aggressive ways? I know how my child feels!” Teach . Young children learn very early that their hands and teeth are powerful weapons that elicit an equally powerful reaction when used. However, this can cause lots of problems for you and your child. The key is to teach your child that biting and hitting hurt and there are other ways to express feelings without hurting others. Tell yourself, “I can teach my child how to respect others and use words to express feelings. I know it will take time and patience, but they can learn.” When your child bites or hits, provide a brief teaching statement, such as “No bite. Biting hurts” and give them a word or action within their skill abilities to replace the biting. For example, “You can say ‘no hug’ instead” or “you can walk away.” When you do this, you are teaching your child how his behavior affects others and what else they can do instead. Reinforce. Practice by setting your phone timer for 5 minutes (or longer or shorter, depending on how long you think your child can play with another child without your motivating praise) and say, “When you have played gently with Jack until the phone timer sounds, we can read your favorite book together. You are getting along so well.” Offering a reward as an incentive for self-control discourages conflict. Praise. When children (even siblings) are getting along, it’s important to praise their effort frequently. Simple statements, such as, “Good taking turns,” or “You are playing so nicely together,” reminds them of the goal of getting along vs. fighting. Teach compromise. When conflict arises, say, “Let’s find a way to let both of you play with that toy. I’ll use my phone timer to tell us when it’s your turn to play with it.” Your child can learn patience as they wait their turn, as well as problem solving and compromise—instead of biting or hitting. What not to do: Don’t hurt your child. Biting/hitting back and spanking are all behaviors you don’t want them to learn, so don’t use them. Don’t overreact. Getting upset when your child bites or hits keeps you from problem solving. Keep yourself calm by using calming self-talk. Say to yourself, “This is a problem we can solve. I just need to stay calm to do it.” Don’t threaten. Threatening your child creates fear but doesn’t teach the behavior you want. Instead, simply say, “Let’s work on ways you can get what you want without hurting someone.” Source: Behavior Checker from the Raised with Love and Limits Foundation
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